Colorado Life Coach: This Sucks

IMG_2120My son and I are finishing up our first documentary film!

It’s been an interesting process, for sure.

Brendan has done all the filming, editing, lights, sound, and cinematography. He’s the creative one. He has a vision for the finished project before we start.

I remember taking Home Economics in Junior High School. You can tell my age by the fact that Home Ec. was a class, and by the fact that I attended a Junior High School, not a Middle School! During the sewing lessons, I could never see how the material I picked would look, once it was made into the pattern I was supposed to use. I’d hold it up, and lay the fabric around my body, trying to imagine what it would look like. I just couldn’t see it that way. I was usually surprised by the finished project (and not always in the good way).

This is sort of how it is with film-making for me. Brendan has a vision that he describes to me. I try to see it in my mind, but usually I’m totally off in how it actually turns out. What’s cool is, I’m usually surprised for the better! I’m truly amazed what he can do with the interviews we shoot.

IMG_1725I used to think film-making was glamorous. I’ve learned the truth! It’s long, sometimes boring, and depending on the topic, it’s emotionally draining.

The film we’re finishing tells the story of three families who adopted using the same adoption agency, from the same orphanage, at the same time, and all three children lived in the same room. Fourteen years later, all three of the children are living in other homes. It’s a tragic, but interesting story! How could this happen? What’s going on here?

The story screamed to be told. We needed to tell it. We needed to show it. We’ve lived it, and were amazed that there were (at least) 2 other families with the same story. We thought we were alone in this horrendous journey. They did as well.

This has been difficult!

~We had to tell our story again and again

~We listened to the heartbreaking story of these other families again and again

~Brendan had to watch and listen hundreds of times to be able to edit it together in a meaningful, yet interesting way

~Our story is traumatic, and it causes some Post-Traumatic Stress symptoms sometimes

~Brendan and I don’t always have the same vision for how we want the final product to look

We’re so close to being finished, and both of us are tired of the project.

Have you ever worked on something that you knew was important, you had passion for it, you wanted to do it, and it was horribly difficult to finish?

Me too.

This is how I felt as I was finishing my book last year at this time.

So we set it aside for a time. We come back to it with fresh eyes and ears, and a settled soul. We’ll get it done.

Just not today.

This post written by Colorado Life Coach, Carrie O’Toole, M.A.

Title Credit: Brendan O’Toole


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