Pain and Suffering

                      There are different kinds of pain: Good pain and Bad pain. The key to helping people is to be able to tell the difference between the two kinds of pain.

Good Pain: When the life of dysfunction, lack of a solid internal life, lack of character, unresolved pain from the past, pain of isolation, or addictions fail to work as coping mechanisms and a person decides to work through these issues. The result is growth and healing. Emotionally sick people need help to find the “medicine” that will make them whole, healthy and happy. Once they decide to look at their problems, growth can occur.

Bad Pain: When a person repeats old patterns and avoids the suffering it would take to change them. This pain is all for nothing. When we suffer trying to avoid grief or hurt that needs to be worked through, the pain continues with no hope of healing.

Pain is part of life. We all suffer at some point. Suffering can bring about lasting growth and change that will ultimately lead to freedom and joy. Suffering can remain the same and never lead to healing or growth. There is no hope that this suffering will end, because nothing changes.

Examples of bad pain:

*Pain that comes from avoiding pain, such a psychological depression that comes from avoiding grief, and anxiety that comes from not facing troublesome things inside one’s soul.

*Pain that comes from not facing a character pattern that needs to be changed.   Codependent people, for example, who lack boundaries and allow themselves to be used, suffer wasted and needless pain.

*Pain that comes from picking the wrong kind of people to be close to, in friendship or romance. This pain usually comes from not facing patterns of denial in one’s own life and then having relationship blindness when looking at others.

*Pain that comes from repeating failing patterns in work and performance. This comes from not facing weaknesses, irresponsibility, or undeveloped skills or talents.

*Pain that comes from addictions and other clinical syndromes.

*Pain that comes from avoiding growth in general. Life makes demands, and if we stay immature, we can’t make life work.

*Pain that comes from not separating from destructive family of origin patterns, the “sins of the fathers.” Thus, patterns are repeated for another generation.

*Pain that comes from lack of forgiveness and not letting go of bad relationships and injuries.

*Pain that comes from desiring things from the past that will never come true.

*Pain that comes from isolation and not learning how to become interdependent.

Thanks to Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend, How People Grow.

Are you suffering the pain of depression, anxiety, or other issues?   I am a certified Christian Life Coach through the American Association of Christian Counseling and I’d love to help you resolve this pain in your life.

Colorado Life Coach, Carrie O’Toole, M.A.

http://www.carrieotoole.com/guidance-coaching.php

[email protected]