Can it be good to be desperate?

“My whole world is caving in

But I feel you now more than I did then

How can I come to the end of me

And somehow still have all I need?

God I want to know You more

Maybe this is how it starts

I find you when I fall apart.” from “I find you when I fall apart,” by Josh Wilson.

I know so many hurting people! Life is hard: finances, relationships, physical health, emotional health, loss, tragedy, violence. It can be overwhelming. Some people have been stuck in a rut for a very long time and need a breakthrough desperately.

Is there anything we can do to get us out of the rut, change our circumstances, fix our lives?

Yes…and no.

Yes

You may or may not be able to change your circumstances, but you can certainly change how you live in the midst of them. Are your circumstances due to bad habits, dysfunctional patterns, poor nutrition, lack of exercise, poor spending, lack of character, addictions, poor boundaries, failure to take responsibility, blaming others, or seeing yourself as a victim? If so, there’s great hope! You can change these things, and therefore change your circumstances! Isn’t that awesome?

It may not feel awesome. It might feel much better to keep the circumstances the way they are, so you don’t have to deal with the fact that part of you needs to grow up. I had a really hard time “putting on my big girl panties” in many areas of life. I’m still working on it! Recognizing that my actions, thoughts or patterns caused some of the hurt in my life was hard to swallow. The cool thing is, once I realized I played a part in it, I realized I could change it!

Desperation

Desperation can be awesome! When it makes us realize that we messed up, hurt ourselves, hurt others, and can’t keep going this way, it can bring us to our knees.

Help me God! I can’t do this anymore! I don’t know what I’m doing! I’ve screwed it up! I’m a mess! I’ve hurt myself and I’ve hurt other people! Help me!

This is awesome desperation! The bible calls it godly sorrow. It’s when we truly understand how our lack of growth has impacted us and those we love. We feel it in our gut. It makes us sick!

It brings us to God.

It makes us really want to grow and change.

It’s awesome!

No

Here’s an oxymoron: To change your life, you have to give up trying harder. Surrender it to God. Stop doing it the way you’ve always done it. Trust Him. Let Him fix it.

But don’t just sit on the couch eating ice cream!

Look at yourself. Really. Be honest–not cruel, not filled with self-pity, not with loathing, just honest. Take responsibility. See where your character still resembles an 8 year old. Go beneath your anger and look at the hurts from your life. Have you grieved them? If not, they are still impacting you (and everyone around you) today. Are you out of control in any area?

Ask for help!

Call a really healthy friend, hire a coach, get a trainer, go to Celebrate Recovery.

And keep giving it to God. Don’t go back to the old way of doing things-it didn’t work.

Have you ever had an experience of awesome desperation? Tell me about it in the comments!

This post written by: Colorado Life Coach, Carrie O’Toole