“If what you’re doing doesn’t make you happy, Change!”

Ahh, wisdom in the graffiti on a bench I stopped at for a water break on my bike ride this morning.

Several years ago, I think this sign would have made me mad. What do you mean, change! If I could change it, I would!

Have you ever argued with graffiti?

Do you get defensive with something you overhear?

What’s that about?

Well, for me, I felt like a victim and didn’t think anything that was happening was my fault, so I couldn’t change it. I thought everything in my life was happening TO me. It was all about the circumstances.

And the circumstances were difficult.

Sayings like the one at the bike rest sound so easy. If you don’t like something, just change it. Like it’s a pair of pants. If they don’t fit right, just grab another pair.

What if the thing you’re not happy with is your job? Your kids? Your marriage? Your weight? Your family? Your finances? A huge loss? Yourself?

How do you change that?

1. Recognize your faulty thinking.

Many of us have faulty thinking. We’ve never learned that we are responsible for our lives and that we can make different choices. I know I didn’t. Oh sure, I heard the words before, but I didn’t understand them. I’m a pretty smart person, but I didn’t truly understand how my own attitude, patterns, anxiety, habits, character defects, and immaturity helped to create the life I was living.

Do you tend to see everyone else’s faults easier than your own? I did. I still do. It’s much easier for me to have insight into how or why my friend acted the way they did, and what they could do about it, than to see the same in myself.

2. Take responsibility.

You are the only one responsible for your quality of life. Most of us have been trained to blame others for things we don’t like, and take credit for things we do like. If you don’t like the people, circumstances, weather, traffic, etc. in your life, change your response.

How?

3. Change your mind.

Stop allowing yourself to think negative thoughts. Each time you catch yourself doing this, think of something positive. Start daydreaming about positive things you’d like to see happen in your life.

Change your habits.

Read books that will help you do things you want to do.

Make healthier friends.

Only talk about your kids/spouse in a positive light.

Get financial help.

Find a new job.

Lose weight

Grieve

Stop making excuses.

Sounds easy, but it’s not. It’s also not impossible. I didn’t believe I could change my thoughts. I truly believed that I had to think about what ever popped into my mind, and most of my thoughts were negative and blaming.

I was a victim of my own mind.

It took hard work, but I get it now.

Just because a thought pops into my mind, I don’t have to let it stay there. I can choose to think the best of someone, or see something good in a situation, or figure out a better thing to think about.

My life can change, because I change how I think about things.

I truly enjoyed my bike ride this morning. I listened to encouraging music, noticed the birds and creeks along the path, remembered how hard life used to be, and thanked God it’s easier now.

A few circumstances changed along the way, but most of them changed as a result of my attitude, emotional health, spiritual and relational growth, character growth, and maturity.

Still working on it, but enjoying the ride a whole lot more!

How about you? Care to share any graffiti wisdom?

Would you like to work on this in a safe place with other people wanting to grow? Click here!

This post written by Colorado Life Coach, Carrie O’Toole