http://www.flickr.com/x/t/0092002/photos/113657384@N04/.

My son told a funny story that prompted this blog.

He was driving home from school last year and the roads were super icy. He started to spin and just held on until he stopped…in the parking lot of a Hooters restaurant!

We joked about how God must have wanted him to go to Hooters cause that’s where his car stopped.

Don’t we all have this kind of thinking sometimes? We don’t really want to take responsibility for our desires, our lack of motivation, our refusal to take action or grow up, our decision to remain in unhealthy relationships or jobs or behaviors, so we blame God.

We may not blame him directly. Rarely do we actually hear someone say, “God sent me to Hooters!”

But our actions speak loudly.

• The man or woman who won’t get a job or go back to school to improve themselves says, “Well, I guess God doesn’t want me to work.”
• The mom who’s son is struggling and angry at God  says, “God must be putting us through this trial” instead of listening to the heart of her son.
• The young woman who is lonely and would like to be in a relationship, but won’t go out and meet any young men believes, “I’ll wait for God to bring someone to me.”
• The husband who won’t acknowledge his character defects and blames everyone around him for his misery, starts to believe God must want him to leave his wife and children and move on to someone who will “make him happy.”
• The young woman who’s scared to death of commitment, so she blames the relationship problems on her boyfriend. She wonders why God doesn’t ever come through for her.

We live in a culture that blames. We’re all victims. It’s never our fault. We don’t know how to apologize or take responsibility.

It’s hard work. And we want fast and easy.

Why do we do it?

If we put the issue on God’s shoulders, we don’t have to do anything differently. We sound holy. Who can argue with us? If it’s God’s doing, then I don’t have any control.

Have you seen the hilarious video featuring Bob Newhart as a therapist? A woman comes into his office because she’s afraid of being buried alive in a box. His advice? “STOP IT!”

That’s not usually how I treat my Life Coaching clients, but once in awhile I get so frustrated at someone’s absolute refusal to look at themselves and take responsibility, I want to scream, “STOP IT!”

Here’s the deal: If it’s God’s fault, you can’t change it. If it’s your responsibility, you can.

We can complain all we want about our circumstances, but until we decide to change, we won’t.

God loves us absolutely. He sent Jesus to die for us, that’s how much he loves us. He’ll do anything for us, and he has! But he won’t take away our freedom. He won’t push himself on us. He won’t make us:

• Go to Hooters
• Make a better living
• Put us through trials without a way out
• Cause a young man to ring your doorbell and say “Here I am!” (well, usually he doesn’t, but he could)
• Tell a man or woman to leave their family so they can be happy (unless there is abuse, etc, but that’s not the case here)
• Stop you from blaming others, even though it makes you feel far away from him

That’s not God. He’s not a controlling bully, like some of us (I get it, I’ve done it, and sometimes still do).

Go ahead and eat at Hooters, just take responsibility and say you wanted to do it!

Keep your financial situation the same, just don’t complain about it.

Stay single, and acknowledge you’re not willing to do what it would take to find a suitable partner.

Stay distant from your kids, but admit you don’t want to put in the time it would take to change it.

Do whatever you want, just please take responsibility for it.

This post written by Colorado Life Coach, Carrie O’Toole.