Dear Pastor, Minister, Priest, or Church Leader,

Do you have adoptive, foster, or step families in your congregation?

Were some of the children in your church wounded through trauma early in life?

If so, please continue reading.

Parents of these wounded children experience life much differently than those without traumatized children. What you see at church may be much different than what happens in the privacy of their homes. Children who experience trauma early in life can struggle with attachment to their parents (especially mom), and they reject the very love they need. This comes out at home in difficult behaviors that they hide from the rest of the world. Some of these behaviors include:
Superficial charm
Lying
Manipulation
Playing mom and dad against each other
Lack of eye contact on parent’s terms
Indiscriminate affection with strangers
Refusing parental affection
Destructive to self, others, and material things
Cruelty to animals
Stealing
Lack of impulse control
Lack of conscience
Lack of empathy

This is a short list of behavior some of the parents in your congregation live with continually. Regular parenting methods don’t work with these children. In fact, they backfire and make the behaviors worse.

Watch the mothers of these children. Do they seem angry? Isolated? Depressed? Frustrated? Hyper-vigilant? Frazzled? Foggy? Confused?
They have been blamed for their children’s behavior, and at the same time, rejected by the child they love so dearly.

Would you help?

My name is Carrie O’Toole, and I’ve written a book called Relinquished: When Love Means Letting Go. Take a look at this short trailer.

Would you consider reading the book and passing it on to these members of your congregation? Ask them if their lives are similar and how your church can better support them in parenting these children who struggle against those who love them. Offer the book in your church bookstore. My hope is that these parents will find the help and support they need so they don’t find their only option relinquishment.
But even if they do, would you continue to love and support them?

The book will be available through Amazon on Mother’s Day 2014. It’s available for pre-order now.

Thank you for your time and consideration. Please feel free to contact me if you have questions or comments. Please share with other pastors you may now. Let’s help these families while they’re in our lives!

Carrie O’Toole, M.A.
Board Certified Christian Life Coach
www.carrieotoole.com
[email protected]