I couldn’t keep up!

No matter how hard I pedaled, no matter which gear I used.

I couldn’t keep up!

I’ve been biking all summer. I can’t ever keep up with my husband. I like to think it’s because he’s 6’4″ tall, and his tires are waaay bigger than mine. But this last week, I just couldn’t keep up with anyone in my family. I was huffing and puffing, and needed to stop more than normal.

What was wrong with me?

I’ve been slow all summer. My sleep has been an issue for about a month now, so I figured my energy must be low.

Over the weekend, my husband said my back tire looked low. He filled it up for me. About 10 minutes into our ride, he said it looked low again. We made a detour to the bike store. Once again, they filled my back tire, and we headed to a restaurant for lunch. By the end of our meal, my tire was totally flat again.

I walked my bike back to the store while my husband rode home to get the car. Turns out, I needed a new tube.

The next day we tried again.

Oh my gosh! I rode like never before! I was way out front, and having to wait for my family. I was using gears I didn’t realize I was good enough to use. I didn’t need to stop. I wasn’t even winded.

What the heck?!!!!

You mean it wasn’t me? All summer long, it wasn’t me? It was my tire!

Does anyone know what it feels like to try to live on almost no sleep, or depressed, or anxious?

It feels like…

~What is wrong with me?

~Why does life seem easier for everyone else?

~Why can’t I   just function without all these problems?

~Life would be so much easier if I wasn’t exhausted all the time.

I don’t want to complain, but it’s hard when I’m always exhausted!

What if…I have a flat tire? What if…I’m not lazy, or out of shape, or whatever else I’ve thought about myself?

What if my brain chemistry is off?

What if I’ve been through a lot in my life, and it takes a lot of energy to recover emotionally?

What if someone could replace my inner-tube, and life could be easier?

I’m not a drug pusher! Believe me, I’ve fought against taking medication most of my life. I’ve tried chiropractic, supplements, baths, exercise, 5HTP, Melatonin, hormones, massage, alcohol (sort of kidding, but a margarita here and there makes me sleepy), essential oils, and anything else you may suggest that I forgot to list here.

Sometimes my brain just doesn’t work right. We live in a fallen world. Sleep is important. My hope and prayer is that I won’t need medication to sleep the rest of my life.

I’m not one to just take the pills and hope life will get better. I’m in therapy every week. My checking account can vouch for this! Medication is not a substitute for working through your problems.

But you know what? It’s a heck of a lot better than riding on a flat tire.

This post written by Colorado Life Coach, Carrie O’Toole, M.A.