When You Can’t Quite Get It Together


Do you ever think  “everyone else seems to have their lives together? “

What’s wrong with me? Why do others have happier families, better marriages, kids who love them, careers they enjoy, better health, and more money?

It’s not just Facebook, it’s everywhere.

-Pictures of happy couples welcoming their new babies, when you struggle with infertility.

-People celebrating long marriages, when yours is loveless and cold, you’ve been single for longer than you hoped, or you’ve just been divorced.

-College acceptance letters, when you (or your child) struggle with mental health issues, and will be lucky to finish high school without being expelled or incarcerated.

-Spring Break pictures of smiling families on beaches, when you can’t figure out how to pay your rent this month.

-Friends telling of amazing family reunions, when your family is fractured.

-Celebrating someone’s promotion, when you try so hard to love your job and the people you work with, but every day is challenging.

-Posts of people at the top of mountains, waterskiing, or running marathons, when your body is in chronic pain.

Since I began blogging, I’ve tried to be authentic. I’ve shared my struggles because I was sick of feeling like I was the only one striving. I knew there were others like me, but I didn’t see many people sharing their battles. There were plenty of feel good stories, but not many truthful, raw stories about the pain I understood. I shared because it gave a voice to my wounds.

I went through a very difficult 15 year period. As I healed, I found I really enjoyed being on the other side of the agony. I earned my masters degree and became a Life Coach. I liked the feeling of helping others through their strife. I wanted to be the expert, and guide others from my position on the OTHER side of the pain.

In the last 6 months however, I found myself back in the middle of it. No longer the expert, but the co-struggler again. You know what happened? I couldn’t blog about it.

Miss Authenticity found herself hiding and quiet. I didn’t want to be back there. I didn’t want to share. Some of it was not mine to share. Some of it was embarrassing to share. I just didn’t have the energy to craft a message, think of a topic, or figure out the technology involved (minimal as it is). I was back in survival mode.

Well, I’m back.  Not as the expert, but as your friend and coach.  

I’m working on a way to share what I’ve learned that may help when you can’t quite get it together.

A major thing I’ve learned is that if you wait to have it all together, you’ll never do anything. So even though I have great plans to improve in the future, I’m still going to do this today.

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We’d love to help you through the tough times in your life through coaching, groups, our book, speaking, retreats, videos, short films, and documentary.

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  1. Dee lundgren April 13, 2016 at 10:16 pm - Reply

    We need authentic Christian women. Thanks Carrie. I too like to be on the other side af intense emotional pain but today and the last few months finds me knee deep in struggle.Those that minister to me most are those that are real about their pain.

    • Carrie O'Toole April 20, 2016 at 8:13 pm - Reply

      Thanks for sharing Dee! I agree! Stay authentic, even when it’s uncomfortable to do so. We need your vulnerability more than we need your strength.

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